jump to navigation

Feting Shatmoy 26.03.2010

Posted by Commodore Mendez in Uncategorized.
Tags: , ,
add a comment

I’m being interviewed tomorrow as part of Look at His Butt‘s ongoing Shatmoy celebration. Since they are in the Starfleet state, and I am practically on the other side of the galaxy, we will use the amazing technology called Skype! I suppose at some point the interview will become available on the Interwebs.

Advertisements

This Blonde Side of Paradise 16.01.2010

Posted by Commodore Mendez in Movie reviews.
Tags: , ,
add a comment

I'm here if you need me, Sandra.

Movie: The Blind Side (2009)
Plot: Does it matter? Sandra Bullock is in it, so you know I’m gonna give it 5 Nomads. But in any case: white folk have a black man in their home and don’t call the cops.
IMHO: So this white Taco Bell-enriched family adopts a homeless African-American teen and then encourages him to become a professional athlete. Hey, how about encouraging him to become a doctor?! Well, since this is based on a book that is supposedly based on the true story of NFLer Michael Oher, you want to forgive some of the racial fumbles. But since Oher comes off an either socially inept or mentally incompetent (I blame the script and director, not Quinton Aaron), The Blind Side is clearly in the zone of the Magical Other (Oher?!!) who changes the lives of the hegemonic protagonists. And indeed the movie is more about Bullock’s steel magnolia of a rich white Christian lady and her family’s giving back to the less fortunate, which makes this either a conservative dream or conservative nightmare, depending if your conservatism is social or economical.
Compared to the great Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan, this movie could be perverted into a dreadful weapon.
If Leonard Nimoy had directed it, the kid playing the son would’ve gotten even more screen time to be annoying.
If Scotty had seen the movie with me, he’d have shed a wee tear from time to time and drank a toast to the blonde miss.
SPOILER: Bullock wins the Oscar! From my heart.
I give this movie: 5 Nomads out of 5. I love you, Sandra!!!

My Girlfriend Made Me Watch 28.12.2009

Posted by Commodore Mendez in Movie reviews.
Tags: , ,
add a comment

I love it when Sandra plays tough.

Movie: The Proposal (2009)
Plot: Beautifully aging Canadian gal strongarms her assistant who is frankly too old to be her assistant to marry her in order to avoid being deported. Romance and hilarity ensue.
IMHO: Romantic comedies are perfect examples of fantasy storytelling — their plots are more unlikely than, say, robots transforming into trucks. But alas Sandra Bullock is my kryptonite, and she can spend an hour in overalls prepping and cooking pork chops with brussel sprouts on the side, and I would pay to see it. Otherwise, Betty White gets all the best lines. The guy who plays Deadpool is also in this, but his head looks like it got crushed at the temples. Which is what he gets for touching Sandra’s butt!
Compared to the great Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan, this movie is “a no-win situation.” For boyfriends, that is. Except for the Sandra-Bullock-is-actually-naked! scene.
If William Shatner had directed it, he would’ve screwed the continuity glitches and reprised his role as Stan Fields.
If Scotty had seen the movie with me, he’d have said, “Aye, and I’d’ve liked to fly Betty White a few times around the galaxy me-self.”
SPOILER: Sandra Bullock wins.
I give this movie: 1.29 Nomads out of 5 (if you’re reading this, Sandra, 5 out of 5)