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The Return? 23.09.2009

Posted by Commodore Mendez in Star Trek Stuff.
Tags: ,
Aye, aye, Captain

Aye, aye, Captain

Dear Chuffnut Asterix,

WAIT a double dumbass minute!

I may be halfway into this loverly bottle of Cabernet, but IF we accept that all canon events have changed since Nero fiddled with the timeline in New Trek, then doesn’t that mean that events like Captain Kirk dying on Veridian III in Star Trek Smellerations are no longer valid. That Kirk’s death at the hands of a script riddled with plot holes and a producer and a writing team whose disregard and disrespect for the character was palpable, that that moment . . . is no longer true. Just. Didn’t. Happen.

Therefore, ergo, and in conclusion, I submit that William Shatner is ALIVE AND WELL as Captain Kirk in the Trek 2.0 universe. Well, as the older Captain Kirk, Chris Pine when he grows up, clears up his acne, maybe gets a nose job, not to get personal. (We can also happily conclude that Picard got his ass handed to him by Dr. McDowell and that a planet of people we never get to see or sympathize with get blasted by a extremely fast-acting probe.)

I realize most of you who go around sober may have already realized this. But for me it’s a [insert colorful metaphor] epiphany. In fact, that whole JayJay Abrams’ claim that it would be hard to shoehorn in Shatner now goes out the porthole, since the whole Wagon Train to the Stars trip has been begun again. So Shatner could have been in the movie, since there was time traveling out the ying yang, anyway. They might have been able to fast forward to the future, or even frame the movie with Kirk looking back on the (rebooted) story of his life.

Bringing him back for New Trek 2, however, could be problematic. Since how much frikkin’ time travel stuff can people take? Time travel has been beaten to death more than Walter Koenig’s career. We can only hope they do bring Shatner back. Before, you know. . . . That of which we dare not speak.


Archibald Footcheese III



1. Yeoman Nacelle Envy - 23.09.2009

Holey crapoly! As the late Ed MacMahon used to bellow; “You are correct, Sir!” Awesome. That’s totally right!! They had absolutely no excuse not to put old Kirk in that film.

For all we know, in the NEW JJ Abrams Trek timeline, Kirk not only doesn’t die, but retires from Starfleet early, get’s a bit fudgy around the middle, and starts hawking a discount travel site!

CPT SHAW - 27.09.2009

I think you missed the Writer’s point . The original timeline “IS NOT” changed. But a new divergent timeline was created by Nero’s actions, that branches off from the original…like a River.

2. Commodore Mendez - 27.09.2009

Actually, I think you missed my point. The character Jim Kirk now gets to live a very different life. And when he gets older he would be portrayed by an older actor, say, William Shatner, for example, who, let’s face it, would probably do it even if it were a cameo. Therefore, an older Kirk 2.0 could have been played by Shatner and so Shatner could easily have appeared in the movie with it becoming a meshugas.

3. Ensign Ro - 28.09.2009

Your an idiot!

The new movie sucked major ass!

There is NO alternate universe.

Trek is dead!

4. Commodore Mendez - 28.09.2009

Oh my, I love a well-reasoned argument such as you present. While I may agree with you on your first two fascinating and salient points, I must disagree as to your third and fourth. Regarding your statement that there is “NO alternate universe [caps yours],” it seems to me that any person well-versed in Star Trek realizes that there are ALWAYS (caps mine) alternate universes somewhere. And the espousal of the death of “Trek,” as you put it, seems rather ambiguous. Star Trek lingers (malingers, perhaps, yes) as a franchise and commercial entity. But I believe it is perfectly correct to say it lives in the hearts of all Trekkies! Huzzah!

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