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Space Doldrums 19.08.2009

Posted by Commodore Mendez in Star Trek Stuff.
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Feel that? Hear the wind? All right, the solar wind, if you must. Yeah, I can’t hear it ether. Nothing’s happening. This is how it was a few months after the end of Star Trek: Enterprise when all the bitching about the horrible last episode finally petered out and then . . . there was nothing. Nothing to look forward to.

Another entry in the ST:TNG series of movie abortions? Hah! Apparently enough of us who sacrificed to the dark gods were heard. A miniseries wrapping up Deep Space Nine? Never gonna happen. Bring Back Kirk‘s mission of slipping Shatner back into the Captain’s seat again? A mad cow dream.

So there was nothing . . . only the deep silence of space. Hey, that worked out nicely. So — what were all the Trek-based websites doing?

Well, those that weren’t so wrapped up in Trekness talked about other sci fi movies or shows. For example, for a while, TrekWeb was more like BattelstarGalaticaWeb. Anyway, coming to the rescue, to make sure the property did not get stagnant, moribund, unprofitable, there came along the whole Star Trek movie reboot idea. For good. Or evil.

But now it’s come and gone (and, frankly, time has done the opposite of improving my impression of it — the more you think about that movie, the more it sucks Klingon hemorrhoided ass). So now we’re in the doldrums again. Waiting for a signal. Meanwhile, those ‘tard screenwriters Roberto “Parece a un Orc” Orci and Alex “Hershey Squirts” Kurtzman are doing everything they can to keep up the chatter, dropping hints about the next movie’s script that they are spending long nights in their skidmarked skivvies typing out. The biggest disappointment about the next movie, of course, is that they will be involved.

Oh yeah, there was also the Nero comic book, which adds all this stuff the movie should have told us. Nice cross-marketing, Paramount. The new comic book, which I read in the store (I wouldn’t actually buy it!) is just as horrible as the Countdown graphic novel that came out when the movie did, also adding details the movie should have told us. Some nice panels, but overall both are duds as comic books and as Star Trek. Orc and Squirtzman worked on the comic books, too, by the way.

So what are we as fans to do? Even more, what are we as Trek bloggers to do? I say we wait out the dark, droll doldrums by finding other, better, less corporately compromised pieces of sci fi to enjoy. Oh yeah, and by drinking a lot of fucking alcohol, of course.

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