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The K Factor 09.06.2009

Posted by Commodore Mendez in Star Trek Stuff.
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Dear Captain Koloth’s Cleverly Curved Catheter,
For no reason at all, I call your attention to — although you have no doubt already noticed — how the K sound is so very popular in Star Trek names, particularly in the names of the captains (KAP-tuhnz!). For every series, there are at least three characters with names containing the K sound. WTF?!

To wit:
TOS. James T. Kirk, Mr. Spock, McCoy — the holy trinity — but let’s not forget Scotty and Chekov. Did the Great Bird of the Galaxy have a subconscious K fetish? After all he was a cop. And a hack.

And he was a Russkie!

And he was a Russkie!

TNG. The formula continues with Jean-Luc Picard, Riker (a.k.a. the guy who leans when he walks), and Wesley Crusher and his MILFY mom, Dr. Crusher, or as you like to call her, “the Bev.” When the Bev sashayed out of there, they replaced her with none other than Katherine Pulaski! Hey, this is  looking like a trend.

DS9. Benjamin Sisko, Major Kira, and Quark. C’mon, there are other non-K names for captains! Nemo! Stubing! Ahab! Or how about F sound names? And the other names are just made up! You could have used anything! Zubzub! Manpoot! Hossenfeffer! There is definitely a K trend going on here.

VOY. At this point, I think the producers were noticing the K thing and decided to push it, as if it was the secret formula to Trek success (and so they wouldn’t have to bother to fix poor writing and bad casting?). And so we get Kathryn Janeway, Chakotay, Tuvok, Kes, Harry Kim, and Seven of Nine (a.k.a. Annika Hansen). Ay caramba!

ENT. Now here’s a kicker. This sadly fekakte series is the first Trek series without a K sound in the captain’s name. Does that explain its early demise?  Here we have Captain Jonathan Archer, but the character was originally going to be named Jackson Archer. Which is a pretty goofy-sounding name, but it does sound like a wimpy guy who watches water polo. Then there was Charles Tucker III, but he was called “Trip” because it sounds stupid and he looked and sounded an awful lot like George Bush. There was also Malcolm Reed, who was played as a British pansy, so fuck him.

Anyway, it’s just something I noticed while sitting here mixing up another evening’s cocktails. (And, hey, let’s not forget the alien races, from Klingons to Vulcans to Kazon.)

Yours in Kir and Cookies,

Captain Kor’s Colorful but Ultimately Confining Codpiece

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