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Are You Here for the Festival? 07.05.2009

Posted by Yeoman Nacelle Envy in Uncategorized.


I'm seeing the movie tonight.  How much do you dare me....

I'm seeing the movie tonight. How much do you dare me....

The thing is, Star Trek is like pornography.  If you’re into it and it works for you it’s a glorious, exciting rush, but if you’re new to it and you’re not turned on yet, all you’ll notice are the black socks and butt pimples.  Um.

I’m getting ahead of myself.  Let me start over.

This blog’s subject matter might seem like Trek sacrilege, but please bear with me, okay?  My well-established Trekker credentials are over two-score old and in perfect order so I think I’ve earned the right speak freely.  Here goes.

Last night I couldn’t sleep.  I was one day away from seeing the new movie.  I lay in bed staring up at the ceiling and thinking about TOS, fondly remembering all my favorite episodes.  Running through them one after another  in my head.  What a great show.   An amazing series.  (In my case, you might say it was literally life changing.) 

Then, as I lay there, just for the hell of it I played a little mind game with myself.  I imagined I was watching all those great old episodes again today while sitting next to my two nephews (one is 13 and the other is 21).  It was a very interesting mental exercise.  When I was REALLY honest with myself, I realized I would probably experience one overriding emotion in such a scenario.  And what would that emotion be, you ask? 

Embarrassment. Pure, raw embarrassment.

I know.  But it’s the truth.  I can imagine myself continually glancing at my nephews and mumbling things like: “Um, yeah, well it might seem a little corny and dated in some ways, but you’ve got to look beyond that.  I know it appears really old-fashioned to you guys, but give it a chance.  And sure, it might come off a bit sexist or racist occasionally, but it was actually groundbreaking in both those areas, believe it or not.   Very forward-thinking in its day.  And the special effects and lighting and costumes and makeup might look a bit silly to you dudes, but they were state-of-the-art then.   Seriously — no joke!”

I can see myself squirming in my seat and, as sweat dripped down my face, blurting out stuff like:  “Yeah, okay, I know, some of the acting styles and music and dialogue does feel campy now, but put that all aside. Appreciate the camaraderie and fellowship, the hope, the adventure!  Enjoy the goofy comedy!  The high drama!  The awesome science fiction concepts!  The social commentary!  The thrills and romance!  And hey — notice how Kirk, McCoy, and Spock are kinda the id, ego, and superego of one single person?  How cool is that?  No no, ignore the gorn’s zipper and that goofy dog in an alien costume.  And, um, just fast forward right through that ‘Spock’s brain’ one, okay? And pay no attention to the papier-mâché rocks and strategically torn shirts.  Just watch.  Just enjoy the good stuff.  Give it a chance.  It’s the Best Show Ever.  Really.  Trust me.  Please.  Just pretend you’re back in the late sixties, if that helps.  Pretend you’re a little kid.  Pretend you’re ME.  Hey, where you guys going?”

A sobering thought experiment.  Freaked me out a bit. 

Black socks and butt pimples.

But the upshot was this mental exercise made me even more hopeful about this new Star Trek film.  It gave me hope that young people like my nephews – poised to perhaps become a new generation of Trek fans – might have a chance to experience a taste of the wonder of Star Trek.  And I dawned on me that this new movie is probably the only way they can even come close to experiencing what I originally went through, because it just might eliminate some of those “embarrassment factors” that naturally arise from something being 40-odd years old.   Lets face it, if all goes well this “reboot” movie could take off the black socks and clear up the ass zits. 


Or maybe not.

I’m off to see it in less than eight hours.   Gulp.   I’ll probably post a full review in the days to come.  Er, unless I’ve killed myself.



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